2014 Bottom and Top 10
Every year many people make up personally objective lists of bests and
worsts. This is mine, and I write it with the full realisation that there are
movies I’ve missed that may have made it onto the best list, and that I have
avoided movies that would definitely have been on the worst list. Out of the 60
movies I have seen in 2014, these are my best and worst ones.
My Bottom 10 for 2014:
10. Noah
Noah is only sort-of well-made.
What gets it on this list is the fact that it got the Biblical truth wrong so
badly. For more information, see this review by Dr. Brian Mattson to shed some
light on my reasoning behind this (http://drbrianmattson.com/journal/2014/4/1/just-once-more?rq=noah)
.
9. Robocop
Robocop is stupidity dressed up
as a slick action movie with laughable attempts at social commentary. The
“evil” corporation is even called OmniCorp, the movie is that unsubtle. Every
time RoboCop moved the movie had to remind us that he’s a robot with annoying
mechanical whirring.
8. Sabotage
When your movie’s only form of
character development is giving your characters nick names you’re in trouble.
Sabotage delivers a slight bit of story for a single character, tacked on as a
driving force for a twist reveal while the script is written around a variation
of the following recipe: “[What/Why/Shut] the f*** [?/up!]”. A useless,
irredeemable movie.
7. I, Frankenstein
Adam is Frankenstein’s monster,
centuries later, caught in a battle between, essentially, angels and demons.
This movie starts out okay but simply degrades to a disappointing ending. It
doesn’t really work on any level, and is more unsatisfactory because of the
promise displayed in its trailer. Perhaps because the story would have been
better told in 2 and a half minutes.
6. Transformers: Age of Extinction
After movies #2 & #3 got
dumber and dumber, I was hoping for a reboot of sorts with the new cast in this
4th Transformers movie. Somehow though, Michael Bay managed to plumb
depths that he hasn’t previously reached, as Age of Extinction features by far
the worst and most cringe-worthy dialogue and definitely the least smart
script. The age for large special effects being the only thing lifting a movie
up is long gone, this is basically a shiny turd.
5. Pompeii
For a movie named Pompeii, there‘s
shockingly little Pompeii in it, and an alarming amount of direct rip-offs from
recent classics. Gladiator’s plot and almost its character names are
shamelessly copied, while far too little time is spent on the volcanic eruption
of Pompeii. A complete waste of time as the only surprise here is the sudden
eruption of a weak love story which should have been left behind.
4. Need for Speed
The only thing believable in Need
for Speed is the stunt racing with exotic cars at high speeds. The acting is
terrible, and the story is even worse than the story of any of the Need for
Speed games. An apt one-liner review for the movie from Funny or Die read as
follows: “Aaron Paul drives a souped-up street racer in the exact opposite
direction of his Breaking Bad credibility.”
3. Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
For a sequel to such a brilliant
movie as 2005’s Sin City, to be this bad is a massive achievement. Nine years
on and this one looks like it was filmed at the same time as the original. Back
then the focus was squarely on the often violent, often shocking story. This
time I am sure it was on getting Eva Green to take off her clothes again. Sin
City was fantastic, this movie lost my interest in a cesspool of overwhelmingly
terrible morals and victory for the bad guys.
2. A Most Wanted Man
This movie has one thing going
for it. A performance by the late Philip Seymour Hoffman that reminds of his
brilliance. Unfortunately it is in the most boring movie I can remember for
many years. The “twist” end is also telegraphed in from a dizzy height, and
nothing is surprising, except perhaps that the actors probably hoped director
Anton Corbijn could have done for them here what he did for George Clooney in
The American. Did they read the script?
1. Born To Win
This movie is offensive to
Christians. And it’s a Christian movie. It’s not offensive because of its bland
and forgettable message, and not even because the message is sacrilegious, but
because it’s terribly acted, filmed, and produced. It’s offensive to Christians
because it makes practitioners of the faith look one dimensional in its story
and completely accepting of bad quality in its execution. This is the movie I
most regret seeing in 2014, the one I most regret spending any money on.
My Top 10 for 2014:
Now that I’ve named and shamed in
an industry I don’t work in (J),
let’s get to the movies that awed me in 2014. These movies are what I go to the
movies for, especially my #1. These movies embody what I hope for when I walk
into the cinema, and I want to watch each one of them again and again.
10. Lone Survivor
This is an incredibly tense and
realistic depiction of guerrilla warfare in the Middle East. It tells the true
story of 4 Navy Seals locked in a desperate fight for survival with scores of
Taliban fighters in Afghanistan, and it does so brilliantly, relentlessly, and
with barely a pause to catch breath. Peter Berg has made a fantastic war movie.
9. Chef
From one extreme to another, Chef
is a passion project for director Jon Favreau. It’s absolutely delicious to
watch this culinary gem about a disgraced chef changing direction and getting a
food truck. It’s infectious in its charm and in the joy it exudes. In scope,
this is the smallest movie on this list, but in heart, it might just be the
biggest.
8. The Grand Budapest Hotel
This is the action blockbuster via
Wes Anderson, the director everyone imitates online with “[insert movie here]
if it were made by Wes Anderson”. This is the quirkiest, most fun take I’ve
seen in the genre, as Anderson remains true to his filmmaking identity with a
more interesting and engaging story than expected. Ralph Fiennes gives the best
and most entertaining performance of the year, making this a must see, and one
I’ll own shortly.
7. The Lego Movie
The LEGO Movie is the most fun
I’ve had in an animated movie in many years, with many LEGO references and
Easter eggs and small memories that made this a heap of discovery, enjoyment,
and hilarity. What makes it even better is the fact that it has an important
lesson for children, subtly and beautifully integrated into a fun and frantic
story, and it celebrates imagination and structure as sometimes opposing forces
in inventive ways.
6. X-Men: Days of Future Past
Bryan Singer’s return to the
X-Men universe is most fortunate. After his first two X-Men movies, none of the
related movies were really good or memorable. There were some interesting moments,
but disparate storylines started creeping in and the massively entertaining and
visually splendid Days of Future Past not only entertained and amazed me, it
also pulled everything back together again – let’s hope this bodes well for
next year’s (2016) X-Men: Apocalypse.
5. Edge of Tomorrow
Edge of Tomorrow, based on the
graphic novel “All you Need is Kill”, is an extremely entertaining and well written
military science fiction thriller that had me on the edge of my seat all
through. It features great visual effects in service of a relatively simple but
brutally well-told story taking the Groundhog Day concept to new heights. “Come
find me when you wake up”, one character says. Please do, I want to see this
again.
4. Guardians of the Galaxy
In any other year, The LEGO Movie
would be the most surprizing, fun, and blazingly entertaining movie of the
year, but this one simply blew me out of the water. It’s a well-produced,
seriously surprizing, truly funny, and all-round entertaining movie. Marvel has
a gem in their hands here; on what was a massive gamble to start with.
Guardians of the Galaxy is already a cult classic in my mind.
3. How to Train Your Dragon 2
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is
great animation. It’s my personal favourite animated movie, overflowing with
heart, adventure, family, and friendship while being visually dazzling and
improving on its prequel in every way. This is shaping up to be the non-Pixar
trilogy to rival Toy Story, maybe even surpass it.
2. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The first movie I saw in 2014, I
thought it would be unlikely for me to see anything I enjoyed more for the rest
of the year. Now at the end of the year, that has almost been fulfilled.
Almost. This is a triumphant celebration of choosing to really take the swing
and live your life to its fullest; with its beautiful story progressing from
daydreams to real life. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is already part of my
collection, and I intend to re-watch it often.
1. Interstellar
All the movies on this list are
what I go to the movies for, what I hope for every time I buy a ticket. Yet
none of them comes close to Interstellar, which was a phenomenal experience.
This is not just a year’s best movie, but one of those that will always stick
with me. Christopher Nolan has made an epic science fiction movie that
incorporates issues around love and life, and in my mind he has succeeded
resoundingly. Interstellar is an incredible experience.
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