The Expendables 3 (**½)

Directed by: Patrick Hughes
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi
Seen: August 24th 2014

**½ Out of ****

The Expendables is an over-the-top action blockbuster franchise revisiting the heydays of 80’s and early 90’s action cinema. I enjoyed the first movie and I enjoyed the second a little more for its self-deprecating nature, and the third one remains fun and enjoyable, while at the same time I was baffled as to what these “good guys” can justify in the name of friendship and basic employment. This movie, in my opinion, has the strongest villain of the three movies, as Mel Gibson simply devours every scene he appears in with an almost insane glee, and the rumoured fourth and fifth instalments will need a strong script if they hope to stay fresh following Gibson’s maniacal mega-villain.

Paralleling events in the second movie, The Expendables 3 starts with a high octane rescue mission followed by a mission ending in an unfortunate turnaround as one of their own, Hale Caesar (Crews), is severely wounded (in the second movie one of their own was killed). The rescue mission features a speeding train and a new introduction of an old Expendable, Doctor Death (Snipes). The turnaround mission is to capture an arms dealer who proves to be more than expected, and the team retreats to recover. Barney Ross (Stallone) is approached by Max Drummer (Ford), replacing Mr. Church (Bruce Willis, not in this movie) as CIA handler/manager of the Expendables, after the failed mission. Drummer puts Ross onto the trail of Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson) again, but suggests he gets a younger and more “able” team. Ross happily obliges, as he doesn’t want his team (and by extension friends and only family) in this kind of danger anymore, and he retires Christmas (Statham), Gunnar (Lundgren), Toll Road (Couture), and Doctor Death against their will. Ross approaches his old friend Bonaparte (Grammer) to assist him in finding a new team, and they recruit Smilee (Lutz), a former Navy Seal; Luna (Rousey), a very capable girl with a dangerous combat skillset; Thorn (Powell), a tech expert; and Mars (Ortiz), a weapons specialist. One of the hopefuls, Galgo (Banderas), a crazy-talking hyperactive mercenary sniper, is seen by both of them as too old, and they reject him.

The new team, together with Trench (Schwarzenegger), head to Romania to capture Stonebanks, but fail to complete the mission and are captured with only Ross barely escaping to rendezvous with Trench at their extraction point. Ross decides on a solo attempt at getting Stonebanks, but he is joined first by Galgo, and then the rest of the team as they head out to the climactic battle which takes up approximately the last hour of the movie.

The action is well produced with the obvious moments of ridiculous stunts that pepper so many action movies (remember Bruce Willis ramping a car through a toll booth to take out a chopper in Die Hard 4? This is like that at times…). I was wondering how many tens of thousands of fake bullets and rockets were fired at one stage but realised that pondering that is beside the point, just know that it is almost non-stop during the final battle. I find a huge contrast in the value of life of a colleague or friend versus the that of anyone else in this movie; and I mean a phenomenal gap, because to rescue Doctor Death from prison, the team basically murders an entire maximum security prison’s staff, and to finally get to the villain, the team decimates an entire army (I kid you not, an entire army), this time of some country with a name ending in “-istan”.

All the actors are having a blast, and the fun they’re having is evident throughout. Stallone is a worthy leader and he has some of the better one-liners in the movie. Antonio Banderas steals a few scenes with his extremely talkative and desperately approval-seeking Galgo, and Mel Gibson simply destroys his role. In one particular scene between Stallone and Gibson, Stallone practically disappears as Gibson tears through script and screen, he plays the villain magnificently, and every other scene he appears in is just as intense – Gibson owns The Expendables 3.


If you enjoyed the first two movies, there’s absolutely no reason you wouldn’t also enjoy this one – it’s fun, it’s violent (less so than the first two, there’s almost no blood in the entire movie), and it’s exciting. For simple enjoyment, The Expendables 3 is worthy bang for your buck.

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