2011 Bottom and Top 10

For a movie to be considered for these 2 lists I have very few criteria: I should have seen it on the South African big-screen circuit between 1 January 2011 and 31 December 2011, it’s that simple.

Bottom 10

These 10 re-visits may be short, but that’s because I seem to have repressed most of them, with good reason. Here they are, the ones I really regret seeing, in reverse order:

10. The Dilemma

I can’t remember much of this movie to be honest. Vince Baugh and Kevin James are supposed to be better than this. They weren’t, and neither is this movie, as a decision must be made whether a movie wants to be a comedy or a serious drama, only very few manage to successfully do both.

9. Just Go With It

Another Sandler comedy, more of the same each time. This one features a flat story and lifeless infantile humour as Sandler continues an unimaginative run. I’m sure he’ll move even higher up this list with his 2012 movie, Jack & Jill. That’s if I could be bothered to see it, which I seriously doubt.

8. One Day

Yawn. The most boring movie by far, the boredom isn’t even the worst thing about it. Terrible characters struggle through years of denial to end up with a supposedly sad ending that really makes my back itch. One Day should have gone straight to DVD to be forgotten forever.

7. What’s Your Number

1^st on this list of many 2011gross-out comedies, this movie had a 13LS restriction while it should have been 16 at the least. Anna Faris must love terrible morals and awful justifications, as thinking it acceptable to sleep with 20 guys in a lifetime and advertising it as such in a movie baffles me.

6. Gulliver’s Travels

Jack Black is an OK comedian, but he often misfires terribly, my 2009 worst movie was Year One. Infantile scatological humour is not my thing. This was a comedic catch-22, as the humour can’t be appreciated by adults, but shouldn’t be seen by children – a movie for no-one then.

5. Bridesmaids

Crass and vulgar, this was hailed as good comedy in Hollywood. It isn’t. And the message we’re left with is that overindulgence should be encouraged, in a boring way. With a lead character you simply can’t like the movie lost me before it even started.

4. SCRE4M

Being a big fan of the first 3 movies, I was hoping for a return to form. This was nothing but a crass and juvenile attempt at rehashing something better left alone. Adult characters are given dialogue akin to that used when teenagers try to impress peers with forced bad language; the plot nothing but an overwrought effort at self-deprecation. Did the franchise an enormous disservice.

3. The Change-Up

An improved 2^nd half with some heartfelt moments doesn’t detract from the fact that its 1^st half is so deplorable I almost left the cinema. This isn’t what teenagers should see, this is the kind of movie that undoubtedly makes the world worse. I hope these actors don’t continue down this road and make more acceptable movies in future. And is the need for nudity now so overwhelming that it must be digitally added if the actress won’t show it? Really?

2. The Hangover: Part II

If you can deal with the fact that not 1 out of 3, but all 3 of these guys are complete black-out drunks/drug users, you still have to navigate the awful and completely amoral waters of a script that encourages everything that’s wrong with this world to a staggering degree. I want the time I missed watching this back, and I won’t watch another sequel.

1. Johnny English Reborn

The worst movie of 2011 by a long shot, even though it was less insulting to the sensibilities than movies #2-5 on this list. The humour is terribly flat, the action awful. Everything about this movie screams financial desperation, and it’s supposed to be a comedy. I loathed every minute, as it didn’t even have the guts to offend me. Pathetic.

Top 10

And now for the Top 10. This year did have it’s good movies too, with some great entertainment gained from five 4-star movies, and my favourite five 3.5 star movies for the year as follows:

10. The Concert

People longing for a past where they were wronged manage to steal some fame back reliving their glory years. What’s not to like about this movie? The plotting and scheming of the disgraced leader of the Russian Bolshoi orchestra to play with his old comrades again and reunite with his daughter is the stuff of fairy tales. And with such a strong and emotional orchestral piece to close off the movie this one will be in my memories for a long time to come.

9. Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

The shiniest blockbuster of 2011, the latest Mission: Impossible definitely doesn’t stand back when it comes to dazzling action and crazy stunts. This movie is all about the action, the blazing pace, and the global locations. Mission: Impossible is back with a bang after faithfully entertaining viewers for so many years with only one weak link in the franchise (the 2^nd instalment).

8. 127 Hours

The word harrowing can’t begin to describe some parts of this insanely claustrophobic movie. James Franco was deservedly nominated for his role of a lost and trapped hiker who managed to free himself from a boulder trapping his arm by severing said arm. The fact that this actually happened, coupled with Danny Boyle’s brilliant direction and the jarring music of A.R. Rahman makes this a movie that won’t be easily forgotten.

7. The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

The best animation feature of the year, Spielberg not only dazzles visually, but also viscerally. Tintin is expertly brought to the big-screen in a daring adventure with visuals so sumptuous they have to be seen to be believed. Pirates and treasure hunters and adventures have never been so dazzling, and I found myself thinking during a pirate ship battle: “Pirates of the Caribbean, suck on this!”.

6. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Guy Ritchie burst back onto the scene with his reimagining of the adventures of the legendary detective 2 years back and has returned with something only rarely accomplished; a sequel just as brilliant and endlessly entertaining as its predecessor. With stunning set-pieces and fantastic action and exquisite humour coupled with brilliant acting by all, but in particular Robert Downey Jr., this movie is incredibly entertaining and sets the bar high for another sequel.

5. Hanna

Even though an esteemed friend of mine has this as his worst movie of 2011, I can’t help but be enamoured with its bleak visuals, its driving soundtrack, its harsh villains and its intense yet different action sequences. The exhilaration I felt with Hanna was something I have missed in cinema for a long time, with the brilliant Saoirse Ronan and Eric Bana giving a chilling Cate Blanchett an exciting run for her money. Hanna is a fantastic movie indeed.

4. Super 8

JJ Abrams is a force to be reckoned with, he hasn’t disappointed me yet: creator of Alias, Fringe and the mighty LOST on TV, Star Trek and Mission: Impossible III as director and Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol as producer. He just goes from strength to strength, and Super 8 is no exception. With Spielberg as producer, the movie is a visual spectacle and probably the greatest blockbuster of the past few years. Large scale destruction is deftly woven into an intimate story of a group of kids making a movie while tragedy and disaster hits from all sides. Super 8 is incredible.

3. The Adjustment Bureau

When a movie comes with a good story and a good idea, something to change the way you think about things on a grander scale, it deserves a place among my favourites. Free will is a gift you never know how to use until you have to fight for it – an idea here opposed to destiny, the plan, just living out your life as it happens. The Adjustment Bureau is a pulse-pounding chase movie offering something much more profound than what we have become accustomed to, a love story with depth that defies belief. A truly great movie.

2. Warrior

Mixed martial arts fighting forms the frame for a scintillating sports movie featuring some of the most touching and emotionally raw family scenes to grace screens this year. Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton play estranged brothers who end up facing each other in a high stakes final of a brutal fighting contest where no-one is a villain, where the viewer only realises how things must be as the final bell rings. Warrior is a phenomenal achievement.

1. The Tree of Life

“There are two ways through life, the way of nature and the way of grace, you have to choose which one you’ll follow.” Never before have I seen a movie so thought-provoking, that stays with you for such an incredibly long time after the credits roll. Framing philosophy and religion and life itself in an epic of gigantic proportions, from creation to today, director Terence Malick uses a slice of 50’s family life to linger on thoughts of existence, fear, sorrows, love, peace, and so much more. Not for everyone for sure, but those whom this resonates with will not get over it. A towering film, beyond imagination.