Johnny English Reborn (*)


Directed by: Oliver Parker
Starring: Rowan Atkinson, Gillian Anderson, Daniel Kaluuya, , Rosamund Pike, Dominic West, Tim McInnerny, Richard Schiff, Mark Ivanir
Seen: October 16th 2011

* Out of ****

Every person connected to Johnny English Reborn, in front of the cameras and behind, must’ve been excessively desperate for the paycheque. The actors must undoubtedly have been told that: “It’ll come together in the editing” when they asked questions like: “Really? This goes for accepted/funny/engaging dialogue?” (In my mind I’m hoping they asked, but the sad truth is that they quite possibly didn’t, and simply accepted what they were to say/act out as good enough…).

Five years after a big screw-up in Mozambique (queue Johnny English eye twitch and actual monkey jungle music every time the country’s name is uttered, I kid you not), MI7 needs Johnny (Atkinson) back because an asset in the field, Fisher (Schiff), will talk only to him (???). He’s called in from a monk temple where he was hiding for 5 years to the now much more business oriented MI7 (Toshiba British Intelligence, “Spying for You” as a tagline) run by Pegasus (Anderson), who has spent the last five years ridding the agency of English’s legacy. Kate (Pike), a behavioural psychologist, is assigned to the case, and while professional, she also admires Johnny’s cavalier attitude.

English’s ineptitude takes off at the speed of light, and not even his relatively competent junior partner Agent Tucker (Kaluuya) can talk sense into his thick-as-elephant-hide skull, at various points during the movie. He screws up the first mission of meeting with Fisher, the latter ending up dead as Johnny loses what he was supposed to collect from him too. In spurned but still oddly included mode, Johnny goes forth to fix what he has messed up, and through incredible coincidence and luck he manages to save the day – what else would this movie be good for?

Reborn is a terrible movie, I had trouble staying engaged, and for something labelled comedy, I never laughed and only smirked maybe two times; since every single joke is not only old, but clichéd and run-down from years and years of everyday use everywhere. There’s even an old Chinese “cleaner” lady, never quite explained, who deals in lethal “extensions” to her vacuum cleaner; a tired line milked for more than it could possibly be worth, for the entire movie. Maybe I’m too old for the movie, as yes, I’m not 10 years old anymore, but if Pixar can manage to keep things fresh and entertaining for both kids and adults, why can’t one of the best comedic actors of the last 30 years produce something at least resembling comedy? Reborn should have never seen the light of day as it is a waste of time, and I was cringing on behalf of the actors for the entire run of the movie, they’re all supposed to be better than this.

Reborn is awful, and I was baffled at hearing some audience members laugh, as these are the jokes and plotlines I grew up with (even thinking them unfunny back then), only diluted and rehashed into a vague shadow of what could have been. Any movie to still come this year will be hard pressed to knock Reborn of its perch as my worst movie of 2011…

Comments

Popular Posts